Hi sis! We made it through another week! Seasons are yet changing again and we're heading into Spring! I feel in this season of life, I'm on a healing journey. I'm so intentional about getting to the root of things. I feel God is calling me to heal from the inside so that he could have full capacity! Have you had that pull before in life? Not to stir up old drama or trauma but to finally face it, heal from it, and move on.
I was going through old photos this week and it brought up so many memories! As I looked through these pictures I tried to imagine what that little girl was thinking. I know at that moment in time, the world wasn't as big or chaotic as it is now to her, but in her own little way, in her small world, something was happening.
Have you ever wanted to write a letter to your younger self? What would you say? Would it be to warn yourself? Give advice? Or to prepare her for what's going to happen?
When thinking of this idea, tears came to my eyes As I glazed into that little innocent bright eyed brown girl face & I immediately went into protective mode! Can I be a little more transparent? So many emotions came up; Hurt, anger, and disappointment were at the top. Feelings that I didn't know were still there. Wanting to do anything I can to shield her from the unexpected. But in retrospect is that not what makes you stronger? The unexpected? The unprepared? To build your emotional, mental & spiritual growth through experiences? I know this, yet it still pierced my heart and that let me know there's more work to be done.
I'm not naive to the fact that life be out here lifeing! But apart of me wanted to reserve the pureness of her heart that would one day be threaten to be hardened by those who she loves. But I found it therapeutic to speak to who I was to help heal who I am. To let go of what I couldn't control and apologize to myself for what I did allow to happen.
I am not a mistake but am purposeful!
And I wanted to share just a snippet of that with you:
"Dear Me,
I am so jealous of who you are! Your unapologetic joy and huge smile is in your bones. Never dim or belittle that for anyone! At this point in your life you're in elementary school, making friends, adjusting to a split household and going to speech therapy twice a week. I know, it sucks. Lol. But you're still bomb! Your resilience even at this age is impeccable. I sometimes wish I had it now! The private traumas that no one's knows about will one day be told on your timing; But know it was not your fault! Keep your quiet demeanor and never chase after or try to keep up with drama. Many people are going to come into your life; embrace them but know when to let go. This will be your biggest challenge!...
Forgive yourself! Love all of you! Don't see your scars as flaws but pieces that make up your beautiful armor. Don't live in your head and relax a little. Have fun! Dance! And allow God to direct your path. This is not it, because your story is still loading...."
I challenge you that is reading this to write to your younger self. It helps! Even if you're like me and can't get all of it out at once, starting is still progress. And you'll see how heart opening it will be for you. Write a letter and mail it to yourself, write it in the notes app on your phone, in a journal, but Don't carry what's already been forgiven. Let it go! And be free!
Love you on purpose,
Joi